Why should I do this? What will happen if I don't? Nothing life-threatening. Wouldn't the world move on without me either way? Isn't the world moving past me now? How long can I stay here, before someone notices? Maybe if I stay here long enough, I won't have to move again. How pleasant that would be.
These are the things that immobilize my fingers above the keyboard, get my eyes locked into space-out mode and turn my muscles to lead. Moving is suddenly a herculean task. I need to come up with a name for that mind-space that I always get trapped in. I have to claw my way out with sheer willpower, but it's almost not even willpower--I manage to convince myself I have nothing better to do, throw myself to my feet before I change my mind, and once I'm in motion again the feeling passes. But it's so hard to do sometimes.
I must remind myself never to touch my bed after I get up in the morning, before going to bed that night.
In truth, it's better recently than it has been. There have been bad days still, but Bryce usually helps me get through them in the best way he can. I'm hoping this blog will also help.
Work has been going well. Research is also still making progress. Slow progress. My CS class is horribly boring. Condensed matter, however, is going great, and so is LAS. Our second SWIP meeting is this week, and we'll see how well we enticed our new members at Mocktails two weeks ago.
To make up for my moodiness, here is an awesome picture of me, Bryce, and our two friends at the OK GO concert on Saturday. It was an incredible amount of fun.
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